Inner Conflict

Terminology: Inner Conflict

Two or more competing incompatible inner “mandates” for behavior aimed at achieving approval, by someone using approval to feel alive.

In this method, there is a special situation described by ‘inner conflict.’ Children and adults who have been unable to develop a strong, stable sense of being an certain subconscious mandates, ‘things I must accomplish, or .’

These are initially geared towards getting approval from the caregiver. Later in life, they are (often via inner or outer approval) which is the

Over time, people tend to adopt , which conflict with one another, or situations can come up in which satisfying one mandate means sacrificing success with another – for example, ‘practice until perfect, or leave now to be on time’.

Since so , the anxiety and stress such a ‘no way out’/’no-win’ conflict generates is out of proportion compared to the ordinary outcome of the intended action or behavior. A high degree of anxiety accompanying a seemingly relatively minor incident in life often indicates that more is going on beneath the surface. The anxiety can, in turn, lead to severe insomnia and other physical problems.

Natural Sense of Self: The lifelong subconscious sense of being a ‘real,’ independent person which develops according to Nature’s plan and timing, if the infant gets the necessary positive responses from the parent. More…
Early Childhood Survival Strategy: When an infant’s doesn’t get consistent positive responses from her caretaker, the infant ‘tries harder’ to fill the unmet need, by (subconsciously) choosing particular behaviors. This lays the foundation for unhealthy motivation. More…
Ego-References: Subconsciously-accepted requirements to feel and behave certain ways, and achieve certain results, to feel approved, as a substitute for feeling like a ‘real person.’ More…
Hidden Agenda or Goal: A purposeful seeking of a situation or event in which the ultimate purpose of parental approval would manifest itself and that leads to ‘Feel-good-about-Self.’ More…
Feel Good About Self: A fear-based emotional ‘High’ from accomplishing what leads to approval from the parent, and which serves as a temporary and unhealthy substitute for a sense of being a ‘real’ person. More…
Substitute Sense of Self: What Nature creates in children who are not regarded by their care-givers as independent autonomous Beings; a compulsive drive for achievement-based approval, to feel a fleeting imitation of ‘Being’. More…
Ego-References: Subconsciously-accepted requirements to feel and behave certain ways, and achieve certain results, to feel approved, as a substitute for feeling like a ‘real person.’ More…
Fear of Annihilation: Terror in anticipation of the experience of being unheard by, and invisible to, others. More…