”We are not meant to stay wounded. We are supposed to move through our tragedies and challenges and to help each other move through the many painful episodes of our lives. By remaining stuck in the power of our wounds, we block our own transformation. We overlook the greater gifts inherent in our wounds — the strength to overcome them and the lessons that we are meant to receive through them. Wounds are the means through which we enter the hearts of other people. They are meant to teach us to become compassionate and wise.” ~ Caroline Myss
In a perfect world, upon being born we would be loved for simply being born. In a perfect world, upon being born we would be allowed to become ourselves. In a perfect world, we do not live. I find this quote both resonating with me as I resist some of its imagery.
My own “childhood” experiences have contributed to the person I am. They also impact how I parent and how I have relationships with significant people in my life. It is simply how it goes. And thankfully, I believe myself to be conscious in how I parent in particular (at least most of the time) because I have actively evaluated so much of my personal history: Counseling in the rough relationship patches of college, personal development intensives as a “grown-up,” and being my first and on-going client self-coaching myself through my ups and downs. It’s a process and a journey for certain.
I see that I exist through all my moods and seasons. I allow myself a full spectrum of feelings. When I was younger and beholden to a “Substitute Sense of Self” I sought approval so much so that I became known for being “helpful and generous” and I will continue to be so, except these days I focus on staying directly motivated for what I choose to do and be. And that brings peace to my life, my relating, my parenting–in other words, healing and vitality.
“We are not meant to stay wounded.” ~ Carolyn Myss