It’s commonly known that most of us strive to be “normal” in life, whether we admit it or not. This desire to be considered developmentally the same as others is especially common in children, but even many adults desperately want to fit in so they can feel accepted.
The problem with wanting to be considered “normal” is that we cannot really look under our skull to see whether or not we have the right set up in terms of brain-wiring to even be able to come close to what is considered the general norm.
It’s hard to score on an uneven playing field, and even harder when you can’t tell that the playing field is uneven in the first place.
Unlike the human brain, however, we can look at a tree without leaves and can clearly see its shape and branch structure. So without further ado, here’s what a tree has to teach us about the self:
Growth is influenced by circumstance. A seedling will grow in the direction of more adequate light, and its roots will grow in the direction of more water—even if these stretches and bends weaken the seedling. The Self, as shaped by the wiring of our brains, is formed in a similar way: our Self thrives and leans towards the things (and people) that have provided us with shelter, comfort and have met our needs from the very earliest stages of life.
“Children will bend over backward, psychologically and neurologically, to get what comes closest to the environmental input they need for development of a Natural SoS: to be acknowledged as a real person.” –A. Vogels, Healthy Sense of Self® book.
When things get in the way of a tree’s development, the tree simply grows around whatever blockade is in the way. Roots will do so to avoid other stumps or plants, for example, and these growth patterns create visibly distinct characteristics. However, the biggest different between trees and humans is that for trees, changing the shape of these roots is simply impossible—for us, it’s challenging, but oh-so do-able. You definitely can transform from having a Lack of Sense of Self, not knowing what you are all about, to a Restored Sense of Self, with all the benefits that people with a Natural Sense of Self have. It greatly enhances the quality of your life in many ways!
Here’s our question for you: if you could look into your own skull –what would be the shape of your Braintree be? Tell us about it in the comments below and Tweet us a picture @HealthySoS and use #MyBrainTree.