How to Align with Your True Self at Work

You’re in a meeting at work. Ideas are being thrown around at random. It’s chaotic. And nobody’s listening to each other. Have you ever been in a situation like this? If so, how did you feel? How did you respond? What were you thinking about the other people? Were you aligned with your true Self?

Did you have a hidden agenda?

Were you aware of your reactions? Did you act defensively? Were you diplomatic? Were you stressed and anxious? Or were you completely oblivious to how you were being . . . and focused only on what you and everyone else should be doing.

When you’re consciously present, you become aware of two aspects of your moment-to-moment experience—what’s going on around you and what’s going on within you.

To have present moment awareness at work means to be fully mindful of what you’re doing as you simultaneously apply self-management for your mental and emotional state.

Next questions: Who are you? Are you being your true Self?

Maybe you’re wondering what this has to do with a crazy work meeting . . .

The answer? Everything!

When you realize that, at your core, you’re a remarkable human being . . . you give yourself permission to be your authentic, loving self. There’s no longer a need to attach unfavorable human behavior or ways of being to your true Self.

Sure, sometimes you may act impatient, or dismissive . . . or maybe you roll your eyes or interrupt a co-worker. But when you have a healthy sense of Self, you realize that that’s not your true Self—it’s just the way you’re being in the moment.

In frustrating work situations, instead of focusing on what to do, or what to say, just remember who you are: A wonderful person who wants to love and be loved. That’s it.

Here’s a secret for handling a difficult situation: Shift your awareness from what you’re doing to how you’re being.

When you focus on who you would like to be in a given situation, the action steps naturally follow without much deliberate effort.

If you want to cooperate with your co-workers, your boss, your clients, etc., just start making subtle shifts. Most advice about communication deals with tactics (i.e., specific phrases, approaches, or questions to ask.)

Tactics are useful skills to know. And if you want them to have a big impact, you’ll need to first address your underlying sense of being.

What does it mean to focus on your way of being?

When you focus on who you’re being, you needn’t worry about what you’re doing, or what you’re saying—those things will naturally happen. If you choose to be a team player, for example, everything you do and say in the meeting will naturally reflect that.

Makes sense, right?

Sounds pretty simple, doesn’t it?

Now, don’t get me wrong . . . it’s tough to cool down/get present and centered during heated, emotional situations. But instead of stressing about what to say, or how to handle the situation, all you have to do is shift your way of being.

Here are a few things you can do to navigate your relationship with your co-workers:

• Recognize and value other people’s opinions. If someone makes a point that challenges yours . . . withdraw judgment. You could easily jump in and argue, but that implies that they’re wrong and you’re right, right?

• Stop and consider what others are communicating. This is true mindfulness in action: Non-judgmental awareness combined with curiosity and respect.

• Start implementing being real and compassionate at work by using positive affirmations.

This last one’s a quick, easy tool you can use anytime you need to shift to a healthy state of mind. Choose a word that suits your needs, and create your own: “I, (your name), am a (fill in the blank) person.” Repeat the phrase to yourself out loud, or in your head, when a situation calls for it.

You take a lot of pressure off of yourself when you choose a way of being, then surrender your behavior to your best, authentic self.

Notice how great that feels! Once you declare, “I am an understanding person,” you can relax. And as this statement rings true for you, your behavior will follow.

We all get frustrated and get stuck in the loop of bad habits, but you’re only a quick shift away from a better state of being. Use the tools you’ve learned anytime a stressful situation arises . . . and watch your reaction and results shift as well!

Remember, your true Self is pure and joyful.

There’s no need to associate with impatience, rudeness, or harsh judgment, right? Notice what comes up for you emotionally . . . and send some love to it. Next, invite something better in by acknowledging the values of others, practicing non-judgmental awareness, and using positive affirmation.

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