The result of working with the SoS Method and healing from a Substitute SoS. This consists of a steady awareness of being your very own person, who is free to live life based on your own essence, preferences, abilities and limitations. There is an inner knowing of being separate from any parent or caregiver and free from any dependency on achievements or approval. There is an abiding sense of being (unconditionally) alive and real.

 

Another way of putting it: The awareness of yourself as having or being a Self, which develops after recovering from your dependency on achievements and approval with as a goal to reach the state of “Feeling-good-about-yourself” as an unhealthy substitute of a Healthy Sense of Self.

 

A Restored Sense of Self is the awareness of a Self that you can develop over time, after realizing you don’t have a healthy ongoing feeling of being a real person and then doing healing work like reprogramming yourself, and reconditioning your subconscious mind. With enough time and effort, this Restored Sense of Self grows stronger and ultimately replaces the Substitute Sense of Self you used to depend on for your self-experience.

 

This new ongoing and permanent inner knowing of being an independently-existing, autonomous person is as close as you can get to the kind of Sense of Self which would have developed in a psychologically healthier childhood situation.

 

A Restored-Sense-of-Self finally fills the terrifying Black Hole created by the absence of the appropriate development of a Natural-Sense-of-Self in childhood. Instead of feeling “homeless” as a human being, you now have a steady, sturdy “inner home” that functions as basis for living your life following your own norms and values. Instead of always having to fulfill other people’s conditions and meet other people’s requirements. You now can love yourself no matter what and live a life of your own choosing.

Related Posts

  • Is Perfectionism Feeding Your Addiction to Approval?
    Striving to be perfect is a learned behavior based on an addiction to approval. Perfectionism is all about analyzing what you contribute or achieve and believing it isn’t good enough.  Perfectionism is a strategy to feed the addiction to approval. Why is that? Not because it really is not good enough, but because of your addiction to ...
  • How to Maintain Healthy Relationships with Your Close Friends and Family
    Maintaining healthy relationships can be a challenge.  Reflect, for a moment, on the importance of having healthy relationships with your loved ones. The relationship could be your partner, sibling, parent, husband, wife, or child . . .  As you think about it, you may find that there’s always room for more flexibility and more acceptance. And as we’re ...
  • How to Find Your Me Time During an Ongoing Pandemic
    Find Your Me Time — How to Make time for yourself during the pandemic. Spring is in the air, and for a lot of people, spring break seems daunting or was postponed. You want to go on vacation, but is it actually possible? Do you have enough money? Will you be safe out there? You want to ...
  • 3 Ways to Use the SoS Method to Cope with Life’s Greatest Challenges
    If I didn’t have a strong sense of self for life challenges, I’d be functioning at a different level. And without the Sense of Self (SoS) Method, I would not be in a good place right now.  Life could be making me feel very sad, and I could be feeling depressed and devastated about what ...
  • Here’s What You Need to Do for Yourself This Holiday Season
    It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Unless you dread the inevitable holiday stress, that is. You’ve been working hard to restore your healthy Sense of Self all year long, and you’ve come a long way with your self-care practice. But when the pressures of the season catch up to you—gift buying, trip planning, hosting ...
  • How to Stay Aligned with Your Authentic, True Self at Work
    You’re in a meeting at work. Ideas are being thrown around at random. It’s chaotic and nobody’s listening to each other. Have you ever been in a situation like this? If so, how did you feel? How did you respond? What were you thinking about the other people? Were you aligned with your true self? Or ...
  • Why Some People Never Suffer from Depression
    Have you ever wondered why some people never suffer from depression? Confronted with some of life’s upsetting experiences (i.e., marriage breakdown, unemployment, bereavement, failure of any kind) many people suffer from depression. But others don’t. Why is this? I’ve been studying myself and my thoughts for over 30 years – wanting to understand a debilitating depression that ...
  • Is Your Stressful Vacation an Opportunity for Growth?
    What Happens to You During a Stressful Vacation? I recently traveled halfway across the country to visit extended family whom I hadn’t seen in years. I felt anxious at the prospect of getting reacquainted with several people at once. At the same time, I felt virtuous (look at me, making an effort!). But instead of enjoying some ...
  • How Self-Love Saved My Life When Nothing Else Could
    This is the story of my journey to self-love. Self-love is a journey inward. It’s the long path to finding out who we want to be and returning to who we truly are. It’s the most important journey we must take if we want to be happy in life.    Self-love isn’t just going on yoga retreats ...
  • How to Align Your Vision for Personal Success with Your Values
    What does your vision for personal success look like? The definition of personal success is different for everyone, right? So to define yours, imagine that you’re on your deathbed. You have lived to old age, and your exhausted body is succumbing, breath by breath, to the decisive blow. In your final interval of clarity, you take the ...
Read more related posts