Lesson 2 Review Answers
Submodule 2
Q1) How can a Sense of Self be natural?
You can claim to have a Natural Sense of Self if you effectively grew up to be your own person. That means your parents have led by example as well as given you the necessary support to develop your own Sense of Self.
If you grow up like this, your Sense of Self is growing with you, becoming an intrinsic part of who you are. When you have a NatSoS, asking yourself whether or not you have a SoS becomes obsolete. Your SoS is so interwoven with you that you will have a hard time answering that question because you don’t know any better than that it is there.
Q2) What is a Lack of Sense of Self and how does it affect somebody’s life?
A Lack of Sense of Self is the absence of a permanent inner knowing that you are your own person, a real and independent human being. That notion does not exist in you because, in your childhood, its development was set aside to give priority to other things.
If you are a person with a Lack of Sense of Self, the criteria you use to judge things, and especially yourself, are enmeshed with the values and desires of your parents/guardians. You don’t know what you want and you’re looking to others for guidance, ideas, and standards to live by.
However, continuously living up to other people’s criteria, because you are in need of their approval, induces fear, frustration, and stress. In the long run, this has a self-destructive effect on you.
Q3) Is it always good to please your parents?
It is always good to be nice to people if it is based on a healthy intention. But if you’re acting from a Lack of Sense of Self, there is a high risk that you’re pleasing your parents to get their approval so that you can “Feel-good-about-yourself.” This is an unhealthy condition that has to be healed as soon as possible.
The same reasoning applies to “giving” to others. You can only truly give something to people if you don’t need anything in return from the other person. The moment you give because you are in need to receive appreciation or approval, your gift doesn’t come from the heart and simply doesn’t hit home.