Sense of Self Method Online Course

Lesson 8 Review Answers

Submodule 8

Question 1) Specify the terms that relate to becoming dependent on a SubSoS as your self-experience.

The concepts related to becoming dependent on a SubSoS are:

Firstly, the distorted parental Mirror, which gives you as a child, the message that you are not the way you ‘ought to’ be. This forces you, as a child, to turn your attention toward finding out how you should be instead. From then on, you are so thoroughly engaged in these efforts that you miss out on developing a sense of your own Self. This situation leads to a Lack of Sense of Self.

Going hand in hand with the distorted mirror is the growing Fear of Annihilation, which leads to a permanent need for approval, as a substitute for the acknowledgement you didn’t receive. This is because getting that approval gives you, as a child, the feeling that, at least for this moment, you are allowed to be.

This need for approval then develops into an Early Childhood Survival Strategy, which leads to a compulsive cycle of executing Ego References with their Hidden Agendas, so the Hidden Goal that serves as a SubSoS can be reached.

Question 2) In what sense is Annihilation related to death?

The term Annihilation has nothing to do with death but is used in the Sense of Self Method to express the terror:

of experiencing yourself as being alive, but not being noticed by others.
of having the feeling that, although you are present as a body, your essence has no influence on your surroundings.

The experience of living more like a ghost because you feel neither seen nor heard.

Question 3) Why does the Fear of Annihilation play such a sabotaging role in WHAT ever it is you are doing?

The Fear of Annihilation is responsible for a great deal of stress in your life. Why?

Because of it you are dependent on a SSoS. The fear of not being able to gain that SSoS adds undue pressure to the tasks you are performing, because, rather than that they are being done for the sake of themselves (Direct Motivation), they function as vehicles to reach your Hidden Goal.

And although this procedure reduces or eliminates the Fear of Annihilation, you risk failing to get a good quality result in WHAT you are doing, because you are not totally focused on the content of your action or activity.

Question 4) Describe the relationship between (Fear of) Annihilation and the Hidden Goal.

The more you feel rejected by your parents, the stronger your experience of Annihilation and the more urgent the need to reach your Hidden Goal, because it works as your SubSoS, which eliminates the Fear of Annihilation.

When, as a child, you don’t feel ‘seen’ by your parent, you already feel non-existence. This feeling carries over into adulthood, and if you don’t reach your Hidden Goal, that functions as your SubSoS, it can lead to an Intense Fear of Annihilation, which can manifest itself as a deep depression.

Question 5) True or false: Once you experience a SubSoS, everything is alright!

Not true!

A SubSoS is a deficient placeholder for your true Self-Experience.

It fills in the emptiness in yourself where a Sense of Self should be.
It may give you an artificial backbone, on which you can base decisions, but these are not really your own authentic choices.
A SubSoS makes you completely dependent on- and at the mercy of others.

Therefore, the dependency on a SubSoS is a condition that has to be undone as soon as possible. You do this by restoring your own Sense of Self, which results in shifting from Indirect Motivation to Direct Motivation and replacing your Hidden Goal by a healthy life’s purpose of your own.