Any obstacle that can lead to anger or rage, which can be a gateway to violence or its counterpart, depression.
In this Method, the terms “Hindrance” or obstacle refer to any activity, event, or happening that is not geared toward, or of help toward gaining this state of “Feeling-good-about-self”. Any interference in achieving this state is subconsciously experienced as an actual block on the path of your realization of that goal. The goal of reaching that state of “Feel-good” is experienced as a must since it this state serves as a substitute for feeling real.
“Feeling-good-about-self” is induced by being successful in fulfilling the required conditions that are perceived to be necessary to get the caregivers love and appreciation so your caregiver reacts to you in a positive way, a smile on their face. That is a sign to you that you are being noticed and that is more than the lack of their involvement you experience on a daily basis. If you have a Lack of SoS, this state of “Feeling-good-about-self” is the closest you can get to having a sense of feeling alive as a real, functional person.
In case of the caretaker no longer being present, this role is taken over by the internal judge of the person herself. This is also called, the Internalized Parental Voice (IPV).
Experiencing Hindrances and obstacles gives rise to great fear and anger, even rage, because Annihilation is perceived to be lurking if the Hindrances result in failure to achieve the Hidden Goal, the state of “Feeling-good-about-self.” Since so much is perceived to be at stake stress and anxiety accompany every daily activity that can only be remotely put at the use of this pursuit of getting approval, and with that to “Feel-good-about-self.”
Note that the stress and anxiety levels are extremely high since earning this approval is perceived as a matter o life and death. After all it is about achieving your Substitute SoS, you artificial mental and emotional backbone, without which you would not be able to function as a person.
This is why Hindrances are the primary cause of crimes and accidents, of murder and suicide. The anger that is evoked when someone interferes with you reaching your Substitute Sos is hard to contain and has (self-)destructive power. Many a family fight, divorce or otherwise unfortunate argument finds it roots in Hindrances, as meant in the context of the SoS Method.
It would be greatly enhancing peace in our world on all levels if the concept Hindrances was properly identified and the accompanying condition of a Lack of SoS adequately treated.
Read more related posts