The entire subconscious complex of needs, behaviors, motives, habits, beliefs, goals, and fears that generates achievement-based approval, which functions as an unhealthy base for being.
This unhealthy psycho- emotional structure includes all the habits, beliefs, motives, attitudes, goals, fears, and needs within a person that aims at reaching this state of “Feeling-good-about-self.” This structure develops naturally in a child who has been deprived of adequate regard as a ‘real person’ by the caretaker, such that the child has not been able to develop a Natural Sense of Self. This unhealthy Substitute SoS-Oriented System is the result of a natural compensation for the absence of its healthy counterpart: a Natural Sense of Self.
Because there is perceived to be so much at stake for the person (‘to feel alive, allowed to be’) this structure add up to a way of living in which a person’s life is organized around reaching – by the results of their actions – this state of “Feel-good-about-self” as their only goal in life.
Such a person’s motivation is Indirect, and their habits and needs are often based on conditions or requirements they feel compelled to fulfill to avoid the inner emptiness and the terror of not existing in the eyes of other people.
This psycho-emotional structure provides the person with a false, mistaken, superficial, and fake semblance of feeling they exist; that is why the entire pathological Substitute Sense of Self-Oriented System operates as if it were based on a matter of life or death.
The need for the reward of the “Feel-good-about-self” state is an addiction and an intrinsic part of the Substitute Sense of Self-Oriented System.
- Illustrated Card Set for the Language of the Sense of Self MethodEgo References? Substitute Sense of Self? Vehicles? The terminology used in the Sense of Self Method takes a bit of getting used to. But as you do you begin to see them not just as explanations but as useful tools for recognizing and dealing with circumstances and suppositions that keep you separate from your Healthy ...