For the past four months I have participated in a social and active meditation that I look forward to repeating monthly. And the funny thing is each time I take on yet again “doing the AUM Meditation” with a group of 8-14 people, I literally get to know my Self better.
I see my Self for who I am in ways that cannot be denied and insist on being expressed.
Imagine being in an environment that asks that you fully express your Self — 100% and no holds barred.
Imagine being asked to visit a range of emotions and experience them with as much totality as you can.
Imagine being accepted when you are fully expressing rage and negativity, when offering forgiveness, when acting crazy, when crying, when being silly, when being a sensual and creatively expressed being, when expressing love and compassion for someone you “just met” over tea before the dynamic group process began.
That is the basic experience, but wait, there is more!
Imagine being in a crucible of sorts, a human laboratory where it is safe to show all of yourself for the afternoon, and feel both accepted and supported. Getting to both Sense and Express your Self knowing you would be seen and acknowledged 100%.
The AUM gives me the chance to practice mastering the art of full-Self –Expression.
Why do I repeat the AUM as a process grueling and ultimately wonderful as it is each time?
I repeat the AUM as a practice to stay in true touch with my Sense of Self. And literally every 30+ days I feel like I peel away yet another layer of “tough onion skin” that is armoring my essential self.
My Natural Self has been restored by the years of personal development work and exploration that I have chosen to do. I’ve taken workshop after workshop, trained in somewhat esoteric modalities at times, but find that in the past year two things have accelerated my education in getting to know my Self fully.
Can you say you feel like you are in touch with your true and Natural Self or are you living life to please everyone else or someone in particular—before you live for yourself?
This past AUM I almost didn’t go, but a phone call from a friend (at the exact moment needed) tipped the scales one last time and I was committed to show up.
I was challenged to be especially courageous. In the 24 hours before the event I was going/not going/going/not going and all because I didn’t want to see two people I knew would be present. I didn’t want to “deal with” some grief and my feelings of loss and disappointment. And then a good friend, planning to attend, called at 12:45pm, a mere hour before the event was to start and I changed course once again; I got ready and showed up ready to be fully present.
I was distracted. One person’s presence in particular was like nails on a chalkboard–all day long–and each time I heard them speak or laugh or chuckle or (cackle as my filter felt it) I felt my body cringe and my Self say, “Why do they require so much attention?”
I made it through the process, challenged by the chorus of complaint in my head. I fearlessly gave 100% through each stage and emotion, but I avoided the person whose energy was rubbing me the wrong way. Then came the last ritual of the process: The Namaste Stage.
Each person greeted each person one last time officially, made eye contact and spoke or mouthed “Namaste” which translates essentially to “I honor the Buddha in you.” And when it came my turn to greet my least favorite “mirror” I breathed in deep, walked up and found the words as I made eye contact with them. They asked if they could hug me and I agreed. They hugged me and hugged me and didn’t let go as quickly as I would have preferred. Then the thought occurred to me, let them be them self and know that you get to be you. I literally heard a voice in my head speaking these words.
It was at this moment that I got what I was supposed to be here for today. I let myself feel the pain and anguish and anger and sadness and sense of loss and then came a warm and peaceful “afterglow” of acceptance and compassion.
I’m certain for a moment that I had tapped into the source of my Sense of Self with total authenticity and I could see this other person for all of who they were and BEHOLD, I could accept that they had as much a right to exist as I.
And that is what this SoS Method is all about too: To Live and Let Live. Begin with yourself. You may find it then easier to also let others be themselves.
How can we at HySoS support you if you are a seeker of your Sense of Self? We really want to help you realize your full potential because we are of the opinion that we all deserve to live our own life and as our Natural Self.
Thanks for listening.