How to Transmute Anger into Calm

Are you ready to release yourself from the grip of upset, anger, or rage? Here are crucial strategies to maintain your marriage, nurture your children, AND keep them in your life.

When you “snap out of it” you may find that you are better able to contribute positively to the world–despite life’s challenges and internal struggle.

We all understand this truth: we cannot change others; we can only change ourselves. Yet, the impact of altering our own behavior and reactions to external stimuli is profound. So, let’s delve into why this matters and how to achieve it.

If you’re like me, at some point in your life, you’ve experienced that moment when fury starts bubbling up inside you. It feels like a flame igniting in your gut. You might manage to suppress it temporarily, but eventually, it erupts unexpectedly. Just when you think you’ve got it under control, a minor incident triggers a massive explosion.

You might shout your frustrations, lament the insensitivity of others, or unleash your anger physically. But does any of this solve the underlying issues? Whether it’s an argument with your spouse, a sense of injustice within yourself, or your child’s behavior, does losing your temper truly resolve anything? 

Nobody enjoys conflicts, especially with loved ones. However, differences in opinions and emotions are inevitable. Hence, it’s crucial to learn how to handle them with grace and effectiveness.

There’s a distinction between a self-serving upset and a healthy one: the former is characterized by intense, tumultuous emotions, while the latter maintains a sense of calmness. The self-serving upset arises from unmet needs for approval, validation, or love, often rooted in childhood experiences. This unresolved longing manifests as reactive behavior, which we can liken to an unwelcome presence a.k.a. “Mr. Mean.” He easily takes control of our actions, gradually eroding our relationships and aspirations. It’s time to evict him; he no longer serves us.

If you’re ready to break free from this cycle and take ownership of your reactions to anger-inducing situations, you have to recognize that your worth isn’t contingent upon others’ validation or approval. You have to learn to embrace differences in opinions without letting them define you and ground yourself in your physical presence and spiritual essence. Take a deep breath into your heart and stand connected as a bridge between the heavens and the earth. This is your existence; make it a sacred experience.

To come back to your body and your breath, CLICK HERE for a guided meditation and grounding exercise I recommend.