In Search of “Feel Good Island”

 "feel good about Self"


Feeling good about yourself is not always a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with experiencing a sense of satisfaction after a job well done, a test passed successfully, help provided to a friend or any other type of activity. In fact it seems to be the very thing that many people strive for, and rightly so.

But when the need to get that feeling at all cost, when working your way up to “Feeling-good-about-yourself” becomes rather compulsive, and you can’t stop working or doing before you get that feeling, then you might have a problem. ~ Antoinetta Vogels, blog post 4/18/2013


In a previous blog post that is part of a series devoted to elaborating on the terminology that makes up the key concepts of the Sense of Self Method, we introduced you to “feel-good-about-Self” and I find I have something more to say about this “concept” and how it applies to my own life on any given day.

How hard do I work at being the good mother, or daughter, or peer or friend?

What if I don’t get it all done today?  What then?

What if I don’t make the bed today?

I like to think myself a productive and creative person.
I like to think of myself as a solid and loyal friend.
I like to think of myself as a responsible parent doing a fairly good job setting a good example as I raise a teenager.
I like to think I am a dependable professional.

I know I prefer to leave my house having made my bed!

The list goes on and on and on…

And, it is exhausting to have to be “on” all the time, doing well and doing right–pushing through even on the days and in the moments I am spent.

Some days I want to stay in bed past 8am and be okay with it.
Some days I want to play hookie and feel good about myself for doing that.
Some days I do intentionally “do nothing.”

And, some days I consciously don’t make my bed, just to show myself that I can leave it unmade. ;/

I skip the morning walk, or the gym, and sit down to catch up with my own Self with pen and paper. I stop long enough to see if I am able to feel good with where I am at.

It seems to be all about this question: Do I love and accept myself as I am THIS moment?

Will the world stop turning if I don’t make my bed? Now that is a funny one for me. Who is going to know if I did or didn’t make my bed? And why must my self-knowledge that my bed is back there in my room, unmade, get in the way of my creative efforts and writing projects today?

As one dear friend of mine would say, “Well, that is just STUPID!” And he is correct, it is “SILLY” to be so stuck on wanting or needing to have a tidy bed and breakfast dishes washed up before I can be bright and focused on the day’s professional to dos.

Bed made or otherwise, I feel good about my Self for a job not yet done!

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