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Insomnia, a blessing disguised as a curse

Insomnia interferes with a lot in your life but it is also a great way to get to your real self (I experienced). As such it is a blessing disguised as a curse….I have a long history of “perceived Loss/Lack of Sense of Self if not professionally active”, to the point of 20 years of insomnia.

Not feeling refreshed in the morning when the day begins while other people are getting ready for a day in which they spend their energy and time on the realization of their plans and projects makes those who suffer sleepless nights feel separated from the vital productive part of society. The pain not to be able to take part in this community process joins the hurt of not having the vitality to express oneself. Experiencing the burden of the task to figure out why this is happening is alternating with feelings of desperation and longing for peace of mind.

Recurring to pharmaceuticals may at times seem tempting but the awareness that the problem that causes this condition isn’t solved by drugging yourself keeps you facing the task to thoroughly investigate what lies at the bottom of your insomnia. Doctors, psychologists have proven to be of no help…you have to figure it out all by yourself.

After 20 years of explorations in my Inner Self and my personal circumstances I have been able to put my finger on a problem that I have found rarely being addressed and hardly mentioned in regular or even in alternative Health Care: Lack of Sense of Self or Fear for Loss of Self.

To be able to connect to your Inner Self or experience a (preferably steady) Sense of Self (SOS) is largely taken for granted. To be grounded or center yourself are words used with an ease that suggests it is an easy thing to do and that everyone can do it. However I have found the reason for my 20 years of insomnia lying exactly in being totally unfamiliar with what these words actually mean: being in a relationship with yourself in such a way that at any given moment you can access that Sense of Self.

Not only was there no Sense of Self but I had to spend many years to come to the conclusion that I was missing something that others clearly were referring to continuously during the course of the day (and night). This Sense of Self was clearly something that popped up automatically for them when needed. In other words something that was present in them on an unconscious level. To discover that you don’t have something that others do and that you aren’t missing in the first place because you don’t know that it exists has been a tremendous task that would have never occurred if I would have taken sleeping pills.

A lack of a Sense of Self causes a total dependency. Look at this dependency as a substitute backbone: something is needed to keep your mental and emotional body up. For a substitute Sense of Self (SSOS) one may depend on people, things or activities (job, profession). This dependency can be anywhere from 1 to 100% and most people in our day and age depend to a certain extend on their profession for their identity. The completer the dependency, the more anxiety there is for the conditions on which we depend to fail. It is this fear that causes (among other symptoms) (mild to severe) insomnia.

Insomnia therefore can be looked upon as being the symptom of the disease “Lack of sense of self (LOSS)”.  Instead of keeping our focus on the insomnia and all the negative impact in one’s life that comes with it, I recommend to work on growing a Sense of Self all together or on feeding the existing one.

In this way we build up our potential to partake in the world of the healthy while increasing our personal strengths and self awareness. Growing a strong Sense of Self is of tremendous value to both ourselves and society.

So I want to highly recommend for insomniacs to own responsibility and take action: look inside and be honest about what is going on!

Insomnia is the result of who you are deep down inside and the only one who can heal you is YOU

Insomnia can screw up a lot but it is also a great way to get to your real self (I experienced). As such it is a blessing disguised as a curse….I have a long history of “perceived Loss/Lack of Sense of Self if not professionally active”, to the point of 20 years of insomnia.

Not feeling refreshed in the morning when the day begins while other people are getting ready for a day in which they spend their energy and time on the realization of their plans and projects makes those who suffer sleepless nights feel separated from the vital productive part of society. The pain not to be able to take part in this community process joins the hurt of not having the vitality to express oneself. Experiencing the burden of the task to figure out why this is happening is alternating with feelings of desperation and longing for peace of mind.

Recurring to pharmaceuticals may at times seem tempting but the awareness that the problem that causes this condition isn’t solved by drugging yourself keeps you facing the task to thoroughly investigate what lies at the bottom of your insomnia. Doctors, psychologists have proven to be of no help…you have to figure it out all by yourself.

After 20 years of explorations in my Inner Self and my personal circumstances I have been able to put my finger on a problem that I have found rarely being addressed and hardly mentioned in regular or even in alternative Health Care: Lack of Sense of Self or Fear for Loss of Self.

To be able to connect to your Inner Self or experience a (preferably steady) Sense of Self (SOS) is largely taken for granted. To be grounded or center yourself are words used with an ease that suggests it is an easy thing to do and that everyone can do it. However I have found the reason for my 20 years of insomnia lying exactly in being totally unfamiliar with what these words actually mean: being in a relationship with yourself in such a way that at any given moment you can access that Sense of Self.

Not only was there no Sense of Self but I had to spend many years to come to the conclusion that I was missing something that others clearly were referring to continuously during the course of the day (and night). This Sense of Self was clearly something that popped up automatically for them when needed. In other words something that was present in them on an unconscious level. To discover that you don’t have something that others do and that you aren’t missing in the first place because you don’t know that it exists has been a tremendous task that would have never occurred if I would have taken sleeping pills.

A lack of a Sense of Self causes a total dependency. Look at this dependency as a substitute backbone: something is needed to keep your mental and emotional body up. For a substitute Sense of Self (SSOS) one may depend on people, things or activities (job, profession). This dependency can be anywhere from 1 to 100% and most people in our day and age depend to a certain extend on their profession for their identity. The completer the dependency, the more anxiety there is for the conditions on which we depend to fail. It is this fear that causes (among other symptoms) (mild to severe) insomnia.

Insomnia therefore can be looked upon as being the symptom of the disease “Lack of sense of self (LOSS)”.  Instead of keeping our focus on the insomnia and all the negative impact in one’s life that comes with it, I recommend to work on growing a Sense of Self all together or on feeding the existing one.

In this way we build up our potential to partake in the world of the healthy while increasing our personal strengths and self awareness. Growing a strong Sense of Self is of tremendous value to both ourselves and society.

So I want to highly recommend for insomniacs to own responsibility and take action: look inside and be honest about what is going on!

Insomnia is the result of who you are deep down inside and the only one who can heal you is YOU

 

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