Welcome to the Sense of Self Online Course

by Antoinetta Vogels

Break Free From Depression, Anxiety and Addiction to Approval

We've put together this course to help you overcome your challenges and rise up to be your authentic Self.

The purpose of this course is to help you fully express your authentic self. When you leave behind all traces of the need to get other people’s approval, you can fully be yourself and live your life based on your own potential.  This incredible shift in your thinking will reduce your feelings of depression, anxiety and negative self-talk.

Each unit will feature a specific lesson to help you develop an understanding of the theory behind the Sense of Self Method and get clear insight into the nature of your own Sense of Self. Once you apply this knowledge you will make different choices in crucial life-directing matters, which can lead to considerable improvement in your quality of life.

We invite you to consider this question as you begin this online series: Is it necessary to hold on to behavior patterns that are no longer serving you?

Benefits of gaining a Healthy Sense of Self

At the beginning of each Unit, clear cut benefits will be pointed out so you know what you can look forward to--when you have completed the course.

Three benefits you can gain from having a Healthy—or Restored—Sense of Self are:

  • Being happier in all aspects of your life
  • Better chance to find, give, and receive love
  • Better overall health
  • Reduction in anxiety, depression, insomnia and self-destructive habits.


Each unit will begin with a video of Antoinetta Vogels introducing the teaching material. A downloadable PDF transcript of the video is also available.  Here is the video for the introduction.

Click to download the video transcription.


For your convenience, here is a downloadable/printable PDF Glossary, or you may visit the Glossary on our website.

(The glossary on the website contains links to extended and more detailed information on each term. Please note that it also contains some additional terms not addressed in this course.)


In each unit you will learn two or three of the 40+ terms that are specific to the SoS Method. It is important that you familiarize yourself with these concepts as they help you identify and modify what needs to change.

The SoS Method’s Key Terms will use the following abbreviations. A link to these (or a pop-up) will be available in each unit.

SoS - Sense of Self
HySoS - Healthy Sense of Self
NatSoS - Natural Sense of Self
SSoS - Substitute Sense of Self
SSoS-orSys - Substitute Sense of Self-Oriented System
LoSoS - Lack of Sense of Self

Fgas - “Feel-good-about-self”
EgoRef - Ego-Reference
ECSS - Early Childhood Survival Strategy
QoL-level - Quality-of-Life level
RestSoS - Restored Sense of Self

IPV -  Internalized Parental Voice

Our first Sense of Self (SoS) term is:

Healthy Sense of Self (HySoS)

Healthy Sense of Self (HySoS): The ability to experience and be present to your own person and to your own life and recognize both as uniquely owned by YOU. That includes the right to live and be as Your-Self and experience your innermost core as your ultimate home from where you live your life.

You have enough self-awareness, personal power, and presence of mind to make choices based on your own preferences, tastes, and values, regardless of the influences of parents, teachers, peers, and society.

The skill of Being Your Self is often taken for granted. Some people can do it, while others have no idea how to be themselves. And a third group is convinced they are being their genuine, authentic self, but only because they don’t know the difference.

This course is ideal if you have doubts about knowing who you really are. Maybe you feel something is off in your deepest sense about yourself, but you can’t say exactly what it is. Taking this course will make you better equipped to create and maintain a positive relationship with your Self.

If you do not have a problem being yourself, it’ll help you understand what others go through at times—maybe your friend or loved one, or even your customer or client—this course could give you that edge and result in you dealing with others in more positive and constructive ways.

Please stay open to exploring the nature of your Sense of Self, even if you feel doubt or reluctance—and especially if you feel resistance!

Consider the possibility that your Sense of Self is not as healthy as you think it is and, if you discover that is the case for you, know that the situation can be remedied.

In each unit we offer details and examples on the key terms in relation to the subject of the unit and on what is addressed in the video.


Each unit will have a selection of questions and prompts to guide you into looking deeper within your Self and your history. These will help you get acquainted with your Self and discover the roots of your Motivations and Hidden Goals.


In each unit you will find selected readings from the 1st edition of the SoS book:

Healthy Sense of Self

How to be true to your Self and make your world a better place!

Now also available on Amazon: the second improved edition (2017)

under the title:

“The Motivation Cure, The Secret to Being Your Best Self”


You will find the selected reading  here and in a downloadable PDF file. <-- Download this.
Here is the selected reading from the Preface.


Each unit has an activity that is related to the new key terms and/or to the objective of the unit and that is also a building block for future units.

Your activity for the Introduction is to:

Create a Learning Agreement between YOU and Your Self!
You will find the materials for the activity and an explanation of how to do this in the PDF link below.

Become totally aware of your main goal when you decide to register for this online course. Please sit down and write an agreement with your Self to meet this goal. It will set the tone for your experience of this coursework.

Creating your Learning Agreement <-- Click here.


Each unit will contain a quote from our Guided Journal for you to contemplate. Now available on Amazon

Quote for this Introduction

Day 116 

WE people
with a Healthy Sense of Self
have no need to fight others for fear that they will
take away
our opportunity
to “Feel-good-about-ourselves.”

We don’t have to get that feeling from outside!

Feeling good about ourselves
is our default state.

We feel alive!

We would like to encourage you to take a few minutes each and every day, to sit down with your Self in mind and experience yourself in your body. Explore how you are feeling. There is no right or wrong. The point is to cultivate your skill of sensing your Self, which will help you to become more convinced that:

You already ARE -- you do not have to earn your self!

RECAP for the Introduction

We began by having you look into the importance of being able to sense your Self. We had you consider the question of whether you see value in freeing yourself of specific old behaviors that no longer seem to serve you in the present. We encouraged you to take some time to answer questions and create your Learning Agreement with yourself.

Sensing your Self is an important skill to have if you want to live your life as the healthy, happy person you know you can be. Taking this course will lead you to look deeply inside yourself so you can recognize and effectively modify patterns of behavior that, so far, have impeded you from reaching your true potential.


At the end of each unit you will find a number of questions.  Some questions relate directly to the content of the lesson and are intended to help you become more proficient in the material.

The other questions are meant to help you integrate the material by applying it to your own life. These questions are of a personal nature and cannot be verified through the course, as the answers will vary from person to person. You must use your own judgment here. The key is to be completely honest in your answers. You are the only one who will see them anyway. Think of how the different aspects of your life relate to the questions, things like relationships, family, work, creativity. Consider your answers as an important point of departure for taking the course.

Here are questions to verify whether you have a good understanding of the concepts of the Introduction to the Sense-of-Self Help Course:

  1. What is a SoS?
  2. What are the positive effects of setting up a Learning Agreement with yourself?

The answers to these questions can be found here.

Here are three reflective questions to deepen your understanding of the Introduction material as it relates to your Self:

  1. Do you think you have a Sense of Self?
  2. What do you hope to change through taking this course?
  3. What are the most important aspects of the Learning Agreement you have made with yourself?


To finish up, we will look ahead to anticipate what will be covered the next unit.

LOOKING AHEAD for the Introduction

For Unit 1, consider these questions: What is the value of doing what I have always done? Is it just because it is what I know? Do I perhaps identify with this action or behavior? In other words, would I still be ME if I did things differently? How would truly living my own life be different from what I am doing right now?

We hope this orientation has been helpful. Please be mindful that completing your Learning Agreement is an important first step of this course.

Lesson tags: Sense of Self Online Course
Back to: Sense of Self Method Online Course > Module One -- Understanding "Who Am I?"


  1. Vickie on April 18, 2018 at 11:12 pm

    Amazing introduction..
    Hard work alright.
    Certainly worth it.
    I can’t wait

  2. Vickie on April 30, 2018 at 12:44 am

    Biggest hugs. Too cool

  3. Vickie on April 30, 2018 at 1:10 am

    I wish u lived in Australia.

  4. April Russell on October 2, 2018 at 3:28 am

    I’m so glad I’m able to begin this course and take a new approach to self-help therapy. I myself am a Nutritional Therapist and Mindfulness meditation coach, with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy skills and counselling training and experience. I have also done Youth Mental Health First Aid training and am studying psychology at uni.

    However, I wasn’t drawn to my career choices because I’ve been healthy. I want to help others because I suffered with so much mental and emotional sickness over the years that life became unbearable. I have been through trauma, been a magnet for toxic relationships and situations. Rather than living from an assertive and mindful place, I have spent years on the defence, or launching into attack when my sense of self is disturbed by criticism.

    When I spotted this course on social media, I had a great sense the lessons would be extremely valuable to me because I am still very much on my journey of healing. I’ve done a lot of inner work already, but I know it’s not over because I’m still inclined to fall into traps and still find my sense of self disturbed frequently.

    The introduction and looking through recommended reading and the glossary has only left me thrice as hopeful I’ve found a course of high value here. Thank you!

    • Antoinetta Vogels on October 3, 2018 at 4:34 am

      Hello April and thank you for your positive and excited start of the course.
      I want you to know that if you need to discuss certain concepts or shed a light on how to apply things to you we can always do that.
      I understand you have done a lot of inner work and are more or less guided into this field of work because of your own situation, which is valid for me as well. Hopefully there comes a time that you can chose what you like from a point of view that is really based on your inclinations and talents and less on the need to survive and have a decent quality of life.

      Since you are educated in the field of self-help and have a lot of experience I wonder if you could give some feedback on how the course is presented. The material is completely original and many, if not all, concepts are quite unknown to people. The concept Sense of Self itself (SoS) has grown a little on people during the last decade, during which I developed the material as well. Unless you are truly seeking to find something different, something that has not been said yet and that you can’t find anywhere else, people have a tendency to find it hard to process. But you do. You are looking for the real solution and have noticed it is hard to find. You ARE willing to tackle new concepts and make them your own. So you would be the perfect person to give us feedback on what is good and clear and what parts would benefit from more clarification or a different presentation.

      Your feedback would enable others to have easier access to the material and, yes, it might help you as well for having to think about things and verbalize potential improvements. Let us know what you think, April.

      Where are you at now in the course? I would like to encourage you to keep connecting back to me through the comments. Not only can I clarify but it helps to share and discuss your process as well.

  5. William Gosman pobox 937 on May 29, 2019 at 10:30 am

    I am finding this format very confusing I keep getting an introduction video how do I get past it to the actual course do I have to get in contact with the teacher first that the beginning of it I’m very confuse what do I do ???

    • Denise Kinsley on May 29, 2019 at 12:00 pm

      Hi William,
      Sorry for the confusion! At the end of each lesson’s/module page, there’s a greenish blue button that reads: Complete Lesson.
      It’s pretty small & easy to miss. Scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page to find it. (Right below the social share buttons.)
      Once you click the button, Complete Lesson, you’ll be directed to the next lesson. I’ll email you a screenshot of the button. :-)
      ~ Denise
      Healthy Sense of Self Support

  6. William on June 1, 2019 at 8:45 am

    I’m still struggling with this format I don’t know when I’m actually into the course or not it says to sign in with your password which I’ve already forgotten but there is no place to do that so I can’t tell if I’m actually on a lesson or not and does each lesson have to be done progressively can I just skip to lateral lessons if I want to and read about them

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