Narcissistic Abuse, an antidote against it.


It’s not your fault!


If you are eager to step back into the groove of trying to make it work at all cost –

Often at the cost of your Self!

Trying to make your relationship work, your marriage, your job,

your behavior, or that change in attitude…

It is not your fault

To be so anxious that, again, it won’t work because, somehow,

You seem to screw it up yourself!

It is not your fault

Because it’s in your system, hardwired into your brain.

You were trained to NOT be about your Self but to be about the person who raised you.

He or she was everything to you: the world and God at the same time.

How could you, as a young child, ever have doubted them.

So it must have been because of YOU


That it didn’t work.

So you still want to show the one who raised you –

The world – Yourself,

That they were wrong about you and that in fact, you ARE worth their attention,

And yes, their true attachment to you-as-the-person-you-are.

But you are still also anxious and scared that it is because of you that it doesn’t work…

You still hope that one day, your mom, your dad, or uncle or teacher,

Who was, and maybe still is, so significant to you,

Will come up to you and speak the words that will change your life:

My dear, I am so sorry.

I am so sorry that I ruined your life.

I should have stood up for you when you were bullied by the kids in the neighborhood,

I should have defended you instead of meekly agreeing with the authorities of the school that felt the need of criticizing you,

I should have been there for you and hold your hand while you were growing up and consider you the most precious gift that was ever given to me.

I should have valued your lovely personality above anything else.

I am so sorry because I have done you harm. Can you please forgive me?

 And rest assured that it all has changed: I love you from the depth of my heart

You are my everything!

But, unfortunately, that is not going to happen, right?

They are unable to see it that way and, therefore, they can’t say it!

They only see themselves.

So, no use trying to make it work!

So take that vow here and now


To try to make it work

At all cost.

At the cost of your Self.

Because it is not your fault!

It’s theirs.


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