I don’t know about you, but I always look forward to holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. I love the food, the music, the peacefulness of the picture-perfection in ads, movies, and images of the Season, the coziness, and safety of family coming together, like circling the wagons in the old days. Most of us are in that same frame of mind, at least in the weeks before.

And yet, for many ‘The Season’ is a time of anxiety as well. You hear a lot of stereotypical horror stories when families get together supposedly for peace and love. What happens, what gives?

Why do you do what you do with end-of-the-year-celebrations?

Over the years I have developed this theory:

When we join the family in old familiar settings with the old familiar interactions, we digress to our earliest memories of the occasion, most likely way back into our childhood. We automatically assume that everybody will be the same as always, will behave as usual, will say, react, bring, cook, joke the same as every year. Do you climb into your ‘old ‘ version as well? Are you as predictable as your siblings or parents? Are your buttons all activated, red hot, ready to fire?

Why do we fall back into these old patterns, again and again? Where is the profit?

Imagine all the years between that early childhood memory and who we are now. We have learned so much, evolved, experienced, read, studied, and lived our lives during those years. It is safe to say that we’re not that kid anymore, even if parents, siblings, and other loved ones see us and treat us as if those years didn’t happen.

All that acquired wisdom has accumulated value over the years, much like the wealth we have grown out of that little piggy bank we started out with as a kid.

With so many people worldwide at war and in mourning over the senseless loss of loved ones, our closest, most significant relationships have become even more important. Of course, the number one relationship, the one closest to us, is the one we have with our Self. That bond grounds us; it is at our core. Better yet: it is our core. It defines us and determines our behavior. Our bonds with others balance and ground us as well.

Don’t squander the relationships in your life.

Don’t take them for granted. Let’s not let them slip into bothersome routines that drain everybody’s energy, including our own, year after year. They are a significant part of our overall well-being management.

When you visit with family and friends these Holidays bring not just the child in you. Include the whole person you have become over the years. This season is about you being all of you and sharing that with the people you care about and who care about you. Go well!