It is a loaded term: self-destructive behavior. In essence what it comes down to: doing things that are bad for you. The more often you do them, the weaker you make yourself. The worst kind of self-destructive behavior is suicide, although you might wonder what is worse: letting yourself slide downward until you feel so miserable that your life doesn’t matter anymore or end it drastically.
Both are bad options.
The idea of self-destruction is often accompanied by images of self-mutilation, or alcohol and drug abuse, but it is still assumed that self-destructive people are aware of a Self, — of their own Self.
But is your own Self, your own sense of being your own person, really present in your mind when you inflict so much pain on your self? Maybe you should begin by asking yourself who you are doing these things to. In other words, before harming yourself even more, ask yourself who you really are.
It is quite possible that you don’t fully realize that your Self is potentially healthy, because that awareness never had a chance to develop — for all kinds of reasons that are not your fault. Are you truly aware of the fact that you are, that you really exist, just like all the other people around you? Do you realize that the wonderful skin you put the knife (or needle) into is yours and yours alone?
Maybe you were never told when you were little, that your life is about you – only you – and that you give meaning to your own life. Do you know the real meaning of the word I – or SELF ? The concept “I am my own person” was maybe not shared with you. Exactly that concept opens all the doors in your life. Try standing in front of a mirror and look yourself in your own eyes and say: ”I completely belong to me and to me alone. My life is mine!” Say it with passion and emotion: shout it out and hold on to those words until you are sure of their meaning. You don’t have to live by other people’s wishes or demands if it goes against who you are – you can be who you are.
You can learn who you really are and believe in yourself. Hold tight; persist. It might be stormy or freezing cold in your heart, but hold on to your mirror image. There is only one you! Your body, your thoughts, your opinions, your tastes; these all belong to you. Pinch yourself (softly) and take a few deep breaths.
Do you have a dream? Something that lives deep down in your heart? Or something you remember from way back that you really wanted and that you gave up? Bring it back. You can make it reality!
What would be the first step to live this dream…? Take that step – it is up to you! The next time just before you decide to go overboard with drugs or alcohol, — whether it is to be cool, to belong, or simply to console or reward yourself, take a moment. Reflect for an instant on what you are about to expose your own body to, — the body that belongs to you and to nobody else — and consider the days that will be taken from your life to recuperate from the binge.
Feel the reality of your being – that you exist already – that your life is underway already. Know that what you make of it is up to you, not to your parents, your teacher or your boss… only to your Self!