Quiz Result: A Lack of Sense of Self

Thank you for taking our quiz! From your answers, it looks like you may have grown up without the opportunity to develop a healthy level of self-awareness around your  authenticity.

A lack of sense of self often happens when a person grows up with parents or caregivers who don’t truly see and acknowledge their child as an autonomous being as opposed to (unknowingly) being considered an extension of themselves.

Do you feel like you lack a strong Sense of Self? 

 

Here are a few action steps you can do right now to move you closer to your authentic, healthy Sense of Self:

• Recognize that you are an authentic, whole person, regardless of your level of success.

When you move through life with your Substitute Sense of Self, you’re living with an addiction to the feel-good state. And from here, achieving personal success can feel like an insurmountable challenge.

In your futile hunt for approval, you’ve internalized other people’s opinions on how to be successful in life. You’re always pushing yourself to fulfill impossible ideals and struggling with your “Fear of Annihilation.”

• Set clear objectives for your Self

You can reach your true goals in life when you are not distracted by hidden goals that appear vital, but unduly take up most of your time and energy . . . and keep you away from doing things that truly matter.

• Stop and take care of yourself when you’re hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (HALT).

By practicing HALT, you’ll develop a keen sense of self-awareness.

• Look within and rediscover your young self.

Go back in time and look for small pleasant memories that bring you back to the awareness of your truest Self.

Dare to look back, to look into your past, dare to get started working out the struggles you have experienced on your life path, allow yourself to tackle them (again) . . . and by doing so, understand who you are.

Go back every now and again to sense the TRUE YOU. Seek the pleasant memories, daydreams, and pleasures you had as a child.

You may not realize it, but you still have that joy in you right now. It may be buried deep within you– inundated by noise, dark clouds, and heavy thoughts, but there’s a little sparkle, deep inside you, that you can always return to!

Find that spark within again and you’ll also find your self-confidence!

People who grow up without a Sense of Self often feel invisible and unappreciated. They likely find it difficult to express your authentic feelings and personal preferences. Does this sound like your experience? 

If so, you may struggle with depression and/or anxiety with a deep-seated feeling that you are not “good enough” or that there is something different about you. These are common symptoms of those who lack a Sense of Self.

In childhood, many people who lack a sense of Self develop a survival mechanism to feel better about themselves. We call it a Substitute Sense of Self (SSoS), and it’s based on pleasing others.

If left undiscovered and unchanged, it can lead to living your life based on other people’s approval and other people’s expectations of you.  

When you live your life in that way it doesn’t feel good. It’s not authentic.  It’s not the real YOU. It can cause extreme stress, anxiety, and depression.