The ability to start out on your own impulse is fundamental to the gift of keeping going on your own terms… Getting started, keeping going, getting started again — in art and in life, it seems to me this is the essential rhythm. – Seamus Heaney
What truly supports us in our capacity to start out on our own impulse and stick to it on our own terms?
What does it take to brush your self off and begin again after a sense of failure is experienced?
Reality is that we will test and try things and falter as we develop into “a human being” who is first and foremost a person–we are not what we do and we certainly aren’t born to be extensions of our parent.
And, with the start of another holiday season, I find myself contemplating, “Will I be going to group celebrations with a mixed bag of new people or will I do something of my preference. REMEMBER, certain people and situations and conditions will tax me and my “person” and psyche, more than others will.” (This year, I’ll be braving a big, new “blended” family and as much as I look forward to it, parts of me feel also anxious.)
Some stages of life and development are just harder (or so they seem at the time…like being a teenager?) Some people are born into families that while imperfect allowed for each family member to feel appreciated “as is.” And, some spend the first decades of life feeling like a student of the school of hard knocks. (And, holidays with a group inevitably accentuate the dramatic for better and worse, in my experiences.)
If you feel like you had a rough start, a rough adolescence, a rough younger life, know that you are not alone and there are so many other people who would say, “yeah, me too….” And these same people have overcome challenges of all sorts, so the good news is you too have it in you to course correct your life. (And, I’d like to bring that most evolved/aware version of me to Thanksgiving later this week!)
So what is a person to do–who wants to start and keep going on their own terms–in the art of living? What serves us best in any situation? (And, especially in potentially emotional holiday gatherings?)
A true understanding of a healthy Sense of Self and whether we have it “guiding” us or not is a great theme to explore.
If you are game to determine what guides you and your way of living, start here.
And, it goes without saying that we at HySoS wish for your family time later this week to be peaceful and enjoyable time, being together in community that appreciates each person present, for the person they are.