How Do We End Gun Violence in America?
It happened again. On May 24, 2022, while people all around the world are still recovering from the effects of the Covid-19 pandemic and dreading a new variant, a young man shot at and took the lives of nineteen children and two teachers at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas. As if there wasn’t enough darkness looming over our world . . .
Gun policies had recently been adjusted so that an 18-year-old could legally buy a weapon of mass destruction. And that is exactly what he did. Now many Americans are outraged about how and why this could happen. Others, like myself, are just as saddened and affected but wonder why nobody is looking into the root cause of this gun violence in America that takes place on a regular basis.
Lawmakers are to blame for the violence in America, but the ultimate responsibility lies with the person who pulls the trigger . . .
By American law, an 18-year-old is a man and fully responsible for his behavior. For a mother an 18-year-old boy is still a kid, trying to adapt to life and the other people around him. There is so much he still must learn and find out about who he is and what his family stands for. What is his place in society, what to do with his sexual urges, and girls, and women?
A child is a genetic product of his biological parents, a mixture of genes, temperament, inclination, and talents, a product of Nature and of the Nurturing he receives from his caregivers. When a young adult commits a terrible crime should we not look at what went wrong with the above-mentioned aspects? And this is not to blame or find a scapegoat but to learn from it, so we have some clues on how to avoid situations like this.
We are all devastated by the lost lives of unique and beloved little individuals as well as their teachers. We wish we could remove the tragedies that the parents, family, and friends of our sons and daughters are going through. But what happened to this young man in his life, in his upbringing long before he came to make this horrible plan? What was the root cause of this unfortunate decision?
Was he a born sadist who wanted to see little kids suffer? Was he enraged with the world, with the loss of a girlfriend, or the rejection by a for him important person?
Did he feel the need to take his own life in the first place? How come he did not have the slightest respect for his life and consequently, for other people’s lives and loves?
Too often we take raising a child for granted. We may think that the young person will work her way through thick and thin and become the well-functioning adult we want her to be and all we have to do is to sit back and be the proud parent.
“Do as I say, not as I do”, we utter in utmost despair at times. But is that truly so?
What it takes to prepare our offspring for life is to first become a whole person ourselves, so we do not need to use our time and energy to compensate for our missed opportunities or dependencies on other people’s approval. I am referring to a condition called a Lack of Sense of Self, which makes a person dependent on the outcome of his/her activities. When we lack a sense of who, and what we are it makes us resent the needs of our children to be heard and seen and listened to. It makes a parent become oblivious that their child is a separate person and not an extension of themselves, who merely exists to better satisfy their own compulsions and addictions.
A child who is unable to value life has not had a chance to learn that. He or she has not seen an example of that attitude while growing up. Most everybody can become a parent but to be a responsible and loving parent we need to work ourselves up to owning a Healthy Sense of Self if we didn’t inherit one from our parents. It is a lot of work sometimes, but it is the only thing that helps make our world a better place!
Instead of fighting each other and using even this incident for a political agenda, it is most necessary to join forces and guide those of us who need it to become self-loving and with that, respectful to others. A Healthy Sense of Self is what it takes to live your life to the fullest and come to the self-expression and love that every single individual craves. Parents go first!
A young man who has an unshakeable inner knowing that he is appreciated and valued the way he is, who sees the love for him in the eyes of his father and his mother has no reason to seek publicity by talking about buying an assault weapon.
In elementary schools, middle schools, colleges, and universities there needs to be a program where kids and students are being exposed to what can have gone wrong in their education and upbringing. Parents do not purposely keep their children from developing a healthy sense of self.
And it’s not their fault. So far it has been the human condition but no longer. In this day and age, there are people with the awareness of what is essential for a person to become a happy, productive, and law-abiding citizen. Let them help! Engage them in the education system so we can actually DO something and make that change towards a more peaceful world.
With a Healthy Sense of Self, nobody feels the need to take away other people’s treasures and happiness. With a HySoS we are self-sustaining individuals who work together to make this world a better place!