What’s the Magic Formula for Your Healthy Sense of Self? 

In many of my articles, you learn what a healthy sense of self is and how you can tackle many problems in your life by restoring your Sense of Self (SoS). In this blog article, I want to take a different approach. 

Most likely you have mixed feelings about the fragile state of the world. It’s been a year where we needed our Sense of Self more than ever. It’s been a year of easily losing ourselves in the noise of media coverage, frequent fake news, frightened friends and family, and uncertainty about the severity of COVID-19 and its long-term consequences. 

What’s helped me more than ever this year is the confidence I have in myself to make the right choices with the right motivation. 

Over the years, I taught this unshakable confidence to myself and built it up from a concept of a Restored Sense of Self that I developed while struggling with chronic insomnia.  And I believe you can strengthen and clarify the way you sense your Self, which leads to increased self-confidence, self-worth, self-compassion, and overall well-being. 

Having a healthy Sense of Self can be a lifesaver. It always helps you to fall back on YOUR own self, on your own person!

A healthy Sense of Self makes you independent from the outside world. We’re so used to making ourselves dependent on our achievements, on what happens around us, and on what other people think of us. . . But this struggle doesn’t bring a fulfilled and joyful life.

And this may sound a bit crazy, scary, or unrealistic . . . but you may recognize the independent/free feeling as an indicator that something is wrong with you. That you are different from others or that everything in your life always goes differently than you would like.

I hear the latter from people a lot. And I certainly recognize it from my own life.

You actually want something different, but you do what you think is expected of you. Does this behavior temporarily satisfy an addiction to approval?

This contradictory behavior may sound unnatural because it is indeed. When you know that you’re doing stuff to gain approval and feel better about yourself, can you see that it has nothing to do with who you really are? No wonder it doesn’t feel good at the end of the day.

Are there any examples of flora or fauna in nature acting in this way? Does an oak hold on to its leaves in the fall because it fears the maple will be affected?

Does a lion stop his pursuit of the gazelle because he’s afraid the gazelle will consider him a slowpoke? No. That’s not how it works in nature. But strangely enough, we humans do care what others think . . . 

It’s unnatural behavior to think for someone else, right? So why take it to the extreme and worry about what the outside world thinks of us? We have to stop doing this.

Stop the need for approval so you can live on as your true SELF.

Get the truest form of your SELF back.

What do you like and enjoy in your core Self? What used to make you happy as a child when you only had a natural, pure feeling, and your own outlook on life? Go back to that.

Do you remember? Bring back those memories, write them down, and carry them with you. It can be about the smallest of things . . . 

• What was your favorite color?
• What did you want to be when you grow up?
• What was your favorite piece of clothing?
• What was the nicest scent?
• What was your favorite food?
• What was your favorite animal?

Look within and rediscover your young self. Go back in time and look for small pleasant memories that bring you back to the awareness of your truest Self.

It’s not surprising that as we get older, we gradually lose our “selves.” Bringing back these little memories can help us recreate that sense of who we really are.

The Magic Formula

Dare to look back, to look into your past, dare to get started working out the struggles you have experienced on your life path, allow yourself to tackle them (again) . . . and by doing so, understand who you are. Go back every now and again to sense the TRUE YOU. Seek the pleasant memories, daydreams, and pleasures you had as a child . . . 

You may not realize it, but you still have that joy in you right now. It may be buried deep within you– inundated by noise, dark clouds, and heavy thoughts, but there’s a little sparkle, deep inside you, that you can always return to!

Find that spark within again and you’ll also find your self-confidence!

The Magic Formula can help you return to yourself.

It’s also very important to recover the awareness of your physical body. Become aware of what you’re doing (or not doing!) for fear of losing or not achieving your “feel-good-about-self.”

If you see through it, replace your craving to get approval by becoming aware of your body.  In the struggle to “feel-good-about-yourself” and everything that comes with it, we often forget our bodies.

Whenever you notice yourself doing things for a quick fix of “feel-good” tell yourself: Instead of trying to feel good about me, I FEEL what’s going on with my body; I’m breathing; my heart is beating . . . I  sense my Self.

This self-awareness exercise proves that you already exist and that you, therefore, are not dependent on anybody’s approval.

You can follow the magic formula.

And with a Healthy Sense of Self, you make life not only better for yourself, but also for the people around you.  A strong, healthy Sense of Self helps to get through the difficult times and see hope and light in the darkness. Because life is bound to give you both.

I wish everyone a good life . . . with a strong and healthy sense of Self. And I sincerely believe that this is possible for everyone.

It’s entirely up to you how to deal with it. Keep the magic formula in mind. Discover who you really are. So that you can face the new year with a lot of strength and a healthy Sense of Self!

I would like to wish you wonderful summer. 

Do you want to know more about the SoS method? Take a look at our glossary or send me an e-mail at contact@healthysenseofself.com.

For personal questions, to share your story, or find out if the online course is right for you, please request a complimentary coaching call.

With Lots of Love,

Antoinetta