Childrearing Challenges

How do we best prepare our children for their own lives while establishing a healthy relationship with them? We want to see them healthy, successful, well-centered, and strong and I think it is safe to say that, as parents, we desire lasting, good relationships with our children.

The best way to realize both of these goals is to build a healthy relationship with our very own “Self” and encourage our children to do that exact same thing as well.

“I’m pregnant!” Natalie couldn’t wait to tell her father. “Really?” her father answered. Natalie was overjoyed. “Well, I am ten weeks along now so, if all goes well, you will be a grandfather in six months and I will be a mother! I can’t wait to tell mom. Don’t say anything, OK Dad? I want to tell her myself.”

We are lucky if our pregnancies start out this way:

• If having a baby is a welcome and wanted life event, we have a positive head start.
• If we have a healthy relationship with our own parents and we have their support, we have an advantage.
• If we have financial stability and are able to afford a baby, we are blessed.

Unfortunately, the opposite of this ideal is quite often true:

• We (or our partner) don’t want to have a baby at all.
• We have a hard time coping with our own parents and/or don’t have their support.
• We would like to start a family, but we don’t have the financial means to support a child.

In spite of these adversities there is still a way in which we can contribute to effectively realizing our hopes and dreams for ourselves and for our children. One essential element in raising a child is to provide them with the building blocks for their development of a HEALTHY SENSE OF SELF.

The most effective way to succeed in this is by making sure we, as their parent or caregiver, have a Healthy Sense of our Self.

Each child has their own character and temperament, and those child-specific characteristics may, to a certain extent, be responsible for the types of reactions they display toward the messages from their parents, mentors, and teachers. Some will be more prone to comply with their parents, whereas others have a stronger inclination to rebel or even ignore what doesn’t serve them to grow into their potential. But it also largely depends on whether or not, from the beginning on, these children have been encouraged to become their own person and develop a healthy Sense of Self.

I remember quite well from my own youth as well as from being a mother how during the early years of the child’s life their parents are regarded almost as deities and their messages are absorbed as the ultimate truth. It is only later in life that most children come to see that their parents are human too.

Raising children is a gigantic responsibility as the quality of their future lives is at stake. Development of a healthy, natural Sense of Self is of vital importance.

Therefore HySoS has taken on this mission to make people aware of the significance of gaining and enabling the implementation of a healthy Sense of Self and the power it has in making the world a better place. By becoming aware of and/or improving their own Sense of Self, parents can actively influence the quality of the upbringing of their children and they can also be happier, healthier, and more successful with whatever they undertake themselves.

On this website, you will not find the advice of a psychologist or social worker, but rather the thoughts of a mother who has raised two daughters into beautiful human beings while facing her own challenges. I, Antoinetta Vogels, want to share my deeply thought-out theory with you. I was forced to find a solution for myself when I realized there was no other way to solve my anger, rage, and the fear that I might not be able to live up to my ambitions other than having children. The solution I found has worked for me as well as for my children, and it can work for you and your children too.

If the Sense of Self Theory resonates with you, I invite you to embark on a journey of assessing your own Sense of Self and, if needed, proceed to working on gaining a Restored Sense of Self™.
Find the next step on your path to opening the door to a whole new level of self-awareness that will prove immensely useful toward your goal of avoiding the same mistakes your parents might have made while raising you . . .

* I, Antoinetta Vogels, author of Healthy Sense of Self and creator of the Sense of Self Method, am neither a medical doctor, nor a psychologist, but I share my SoS Method with you as it has helped me to greatly improve my own life and that of my family; it can do the same for you.

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