The result of working with the SoS Method and healing from a Substitute SoS. This consists of a steady awareness of being your very own person, who is free to live life based on your own essence, preferences, abilities and limitations. There is an inner knowing of being separate from any parent or caregiver and free from any dependency on achievements or approval. There is an abiding sense of being (unconditionally) alive and real.
Another way of putting it: The awareness of yourself as having or being a Self, which develops after recovering from your dependency on achievements and approval with as a goal to reach the state of “Feeling-good-about-yourself” as an unhealthy substitute of a Healthy Sense of Self.
A Restored Sense of Self is the awareness of a Self that you can develop over time, after realizing you don’t have a healthy ongoing feeling of being a real person and then doing healing work like reprogramming yourself, and reconditioning your subconscious mind. With enough time and effort, this Restored Sense of Self grows stronger and ultimately replaces the Substitute Sense of Self you used to depend on for your self-experience.
This new ongoing and permanent inner knowing of being an independently-existing, autonomous person is as close as you can get to the kind of Sense of Self which would have developed in a psychologically healthier childhood situation.
A Restored-Sense-of-Self finally fills the terrifying Black Hole created by the absence of the appropriate development of a Natural-Sense-of-Self in childhood. Instead of feeling “homeless” as a human being, you now have a steady, sturdy “inner home” that functions as basis for living your life following your own norms and values. Instead of always having to fulfill other people’s conditions and meet other people’s requirements. You now can love yourself no matter what and live a life of your own choosing.
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