Today, as I was struggling for peace of mind and tranquility in my soul by trying to find a balance between ‘me doing’ and ‘me being’, I thought how wonderful it would be if I were strong enough to stand up against the drive that keeps me in the ’doing’ mode most of the day.

However from experience I know that battling my Hidden Goal to become a wonderful and gifted musician requires as much power as to try to stop a hurricane. Still I have made a lot of improvement over the years which have lead to big positive changes in my life. I am not so easily infuriated or frustrated anymore; I don’t yell at my kids as I used to and treat them as beloved human beings; my husband doesn’t have to cover up with love the black spots in my behavior anymore and is treated as a respected friend and companion.

Through all this I came to the conclusion that peace in the world is served tremendously with us human beings getting in touch, becoming aware of what is the ultimate drive behind our actions.  What lies at the roots of what we have become and of where we are heading.  Why is what we aim for so important to us that we sacrifice our marriages, the wellbeing of our children to get things the way we perceive we need them to be.

Most people are of the opinion that if we only could find solutions to the many conflicts we would decrease the amount of violence in the world. They spend their time and energy in all kinds of creative or less creative ways to solve the conflicts, only to notice that if one is solved, a next one would arise and they have to start from scratch.

In general a conflict provokes emotions in people. I have found that the way we deal with the emotional side effect of the conflict is usually not addressed and maybe because that aspect seems hard to be influenced.  However it is clear that if we react to things from a mind and heart that are well balanced we will be able to contribute in a much more positive way to the process of problem solving than when we are upset or even enraged.
The way that state can be reached is by looking inside ourselves. Understanding what we are after in our lives and what are the reasons to that specific goal. And here I have to let everybody know that the utmost honesty towards oneself is required here, because deep down inside we are the only ones that know what we are after. We have to stop fooling ourselves by pretend reasons.

We have to get to the point to find the courage to face our trauma’s, hurts, failures once more with an open mind to be able to deduct how those experiences or perceived experiences have shaped our drive, our motivation to compensate these experiences whatever it takes. We then can clearly see how we have come to identify with these compensation strategies in such a way that we can’t afford to fail in making them work at the cost of losing our sense of identity.  This connection also implies that we stay stuck in the past as the strategy we developed as a reaction to a trauma may have been valid in the past but doesn’t serve us in the present. Because we are so caught up and identified with these Hidden Goals we are blind for what happens now. We become the slave of a strategy that is not well adjusted to the moment.

Succeeding in our Hidden Mission is all we can think of at the cost of causing numerous hurts to others and even at the cost of our own happiness.  Our mood may seem joyous at the surface because we have learned to be good in pretending but deep down we are angry and frustrated.  That mood seeps through in the way we react on situations and conflicts, be it with our spouses, our children, our employees or bosses. It doesn’t take much imagination to extend this thought to the soldiers who are actually fighting in the wars and who are detached from their personal environment in which the social code keeps them within acceptable boundaries.

Instead of acting out on others our rage or failure fear concerning our self imposed Hidden Missions we must take responsibility and invest time and effort in discovering what those Hidden Missions are so we can deal with them in a constructive way.

I suggest we implement a training program in the schools so children learn from early on the skill of getting in touch with the ultimate Motivation that drives us humans to become who we are when growing up. Only when we are able to become the master of our drives we will stand a real chance to become who we choose to be. And don’t we all want love and peace?

So help the world by working out your issues, by looking into your Hidden Goals. Learn to be in the moment as in the past there is nothing you can do.

STOP THE WAR; dismantle your Hidden Goals!

 

Today, as I was struggling for peace of mind and tranquility in my soul by trying to find a balance between ‘me doing’ and ‘me being’, I thought how wonderful it would be if I were strong enough to stand up against the drive that keeps me in the ’doing’ mode most of the day.

However from experience I know that battling my Hidden Goal to become a wonderful and gifted musician requires as much power as to try to stop a hurricane. Still I have made a lot of improvement over the years which have lead to big positive changes in my life. I am not so easily infuriated or frustrated anymore; I don’t yell at my kids as I used to and treat them as beloved human beings; my husband doesn’t have to cover up with love the black spots in my behavior anymore and is treated as a respected friend and companion.

Through all this I came to the conclusion that peace in the world is served tremendously with us human beings getting in touch, becoming aware of what is the ultimate drive behind our actions.  What lies at the roots of what we have become and of where we are heading.  Why is what we aim for so important to us that we sacrifice our marriages, the wellbeing of our children to get things the way we perceive we need them to be.
Most people are of the opinion that if we only could find solutions to the many conflicts we would decrease the amount of violence in the world. They spend their time and energy in all kinds of creative or less creative ways to solve the conflicts, only to notice that if one is solved, a next one would arise and they have to start from scratch.

In general a conflict provokes emotions in people. I have found that the way we deal with the emotional side effect of the conflict is usually not addressed and maybe because that aspect seems hard to be influenced.  However it is clear that if we react to things from a mind and heart that are well balanced we will be able to contribute in a much more positive way to the process of problem solving than when we are upset or even enraged.
The way that state can be reached is by looking inside ourselves. Understanding what we are after in our lives and what are the reasons to that specific goal. And here I have to let everybody know that the utmost honesty towards oneself is required here, because deep down inside we are the only ones that know what we are after. We have to stop fooling ourselves by pretend reasons.

We have to get to the point to find the courage to face our trauma’s, hurts, failures once more with an open mind to be able to deduct how those experiences or perceived experiences have shaped our drive, our motivation to compensate these experiences whatever it takes. We then can clearly see how we have come to identify with these compensation strategies in such a way that we can’t afford to fail in making them work at the cost of losing our sense of identity.  This connection also implies that we stay stuck in the past as the strategy we developed as a reaction to a trauma may have been valid in the past but doesn’t serve us in the present. Because we are so caught up and identified with these Hidden Goals we are blind for what happens now. We become the slave of a strategy that is not well adjusted to the moment.

Succeeding in our Hidden Mission is all we can think of at the cost of causing numerous hurts to others and even at the cost of our own happiness.  Our mood may seem joyous at the surface because we have learned to be good in pretending but deep down we are angry and frustrated.  That mood seeps through in the way we react on situations and conflicts, be it with our spouses, our children, our employees or bosses. It doesn’t take much imagination to extend this thought to the soldiers who are actually fighting in the wars and who are detached from their personal environment in which the social code keeps them within acceptable boundaries.

Instead of acting out on others our rage or failure fear concerning our self imposed Hidden Missions we must take responsibility and invest time and effort in discovering what those Hidden Missions are so we can deal with them in a constructive way.

I suggest we implement a training program in the schools so children learn from early on the skill of getting in touch with the ultimate Motivation that drives us humans to become who we are when growing up. Only when we are able to become the master of our drives we will stand a real chance to become who we choose to be. And don’t we all want love and peace?

So help the world by working out your issues, by looking into your Hidden Goals. Learn to be in the moment as in the past there is nothing you can do.

STOP THE WAR; dismantle your Hidden Goals!

 

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